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Let’s Not Fight

A person who fights has no justifiable reason towards the accused. The reason he attacks her is because he is not happy with himself and he is angry. There could be many reasons for his anger and he will chose to ignore all of them and, instead, nit pick at trivial things that she said to him like, “You are two minutes late!” “I don’t like the color of your tie.” “You do not appreciate me enough.” “When are you going to kiss me and mean it?” or simply “Why don’t you like chicken soup with rice? You know it is good for you.”

The relationship with couples is said to be very difficult by many experts. But I don’t think so. What seems to me to be very difficult is how complicated some people make their lives. Also, what I find very peculiar is people’s insistence on continuously keeping their lives in a state of difficulty.

Life should be simple. For example: If I like you, then I take you. I do not like you, then I do not take you. How difficult is that?

Okay, here are more examples: If I like what you say to me, then I listen to what you are saying. If I do not like what you saying to me, then I am not listening to what you are saying. How difficult is that??

As you read this, I can guess what you are thinking; If I do that she may think I am ignoring her and then she will get mad at me, and that way will be much worse. Perhaps, maybe, and…you could be right. But, are we talking about you being angry? Or are we talking about HER being angry?

She probably did not take it the way that you interpreted; nevertheless, it is not important to analyze the thing she said that you did not like. What is important here is for you to be yourself.

Are you a person that enjoys being angry? I do not think so!
Are you a person that enjoys seeing your beloved angry? I do not think so!

So, why give into that destructive emotion?
Because, the emotion draws you into it?

Okay, I will buy that one. I have been also angry in my past, and did not have a clue as to why. But now I know the reasons. It is like raining. When it rains you get wet! That is, unless you have an umbrella for protection.

So what is the umbrella for protecting you from the anger of others, especially your loved one? I did tell you in the lines above but the message was so simple you might have missed it. Here it is in two simple words: “Be Selfish.” You like – you take. You don’t like – you don’t take.

Please read my blog in Selfishness, and you will realize this word has been distorted and abused to the point of making you believe it is bad for you to be so. Selfishness will also keep you on the right road to accomplish your dreams and aspirations; you will have more friends, less enemies, more happiness, less pain and sorrow, etc. etc.

Okay, your beloved dishes out stuff you do not like, and since you are now protected by your umbrella this stuff bounces off you and it does not stick. This do not mean that you love her less; this only means that you are protecting yourself and allowing her to pour out all the rain she must have generated, for whatever reason (which more than likely will have nothing to do with you).

This is also a demonstration of your love for her as you allow her cleansing as she pours all that rain on you.

So, what happens when the rain stops? She may be exhausted since this emotion of anger draws much physical strength from the body. And since you are not wet, cold, or miserable from the rain, now is a good time to put the umbrella down and let the Sun shine in.

You love her, don’t you? If I was in your place I would be thinking; I am with my woman and that is because I love her, so I will show her how much I love her…. “Darling, the color of your eyes is misty blue today, they reflect the beauty you have inside, and your beautiful nature truly makes me rhyme.”

After her outburst of anger on you, receiving this poetic phrase may shock her out of her socks. She may answer with something like this; “Is it you? Has your brain changed? Do you really love me?"

A good answer for you should be; “I loved you the day you were born, since my Soul knew you were part of this world and I was able to identify you. But now seeing you in my presence, all my senses nourish from your essence, and you bring me heavenly peace. Yes, I love you darling exactly the way that you are.”

Okay, how do you think she is going to react to that?

Will her anger towards you still be there?

Will she realize you are stronger for overcoming her outburst?

Will she admit she was wrong?

Will she realize anger doesn’t fix very much?

Please, send me your comments. I need material from you too.

Vincent 

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37 Responses to Let’s Not Fight

  1. Enid February 26, 2012 at 9:38 am #

    Muy buena observación, Vicent, muchas de esas explosiones de ira son relacionadas a propias frustaciones y la incapacidad de comunicar a nuestras parejas que realmente nos molesta.  Tambien es algo de asumir juicio y responsabilidad por como no sentimos y no buscar excusas para hacer sentir a otros lo mal que nos sentimos.  Creeme he visto mucho de esto, pero no  habia tenido otra  dimensión hasta leer tú articulo.

  2. Vincent Sylvan February 27, 2012 at 2:15 am #

    Gracias Enid, por estar de vuelta. El secreto esta en tener la creencia de saber que tenemos los ingredientes de grandeza, por lo tanto nuestra mision es la the relacionarnos solamente con gente que nos ayude a sacar esa grandeza a la superficie.

    • Enid February 27, 2012 at 2:55 pm #

      Muy importante; hay personas complicadas en su forma de ser y ver la vida.   Es un aspecto que suelo mirar demasiado, existe  un mal aprendizaje que practicamente  heredamos de nuestro entorno familia y social.  En mi caso prefiero mi soledad a estar con alguien por cumplir  esos parametros sociales o familiares  impuestos. Claro siemper exite el anhelo de llegar a conocer a  una persona a fin a nuestros intereses y este modo de ver la vida, pero si no llega no me voy a tirar al vacio por ello.  Elijo aprender y buscar nuevas satisfaciones, un entimiendo que he adquirido con la edad. 

  3. Vincent Sylvan February 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm #

    Enid, Nuestra alma eligio ser nacida en el lugar que nacimos y eso no fue una equivocacion de Dios. Al contrario, es nuestra mission el poder superarnos de los episodios dificiles los cuales abundan en nustras vidas. Esa es nuestra mision! El salir triunfantes the la asignatura que nuestro destino nos dio. Si cierras las puertas a otros, ellos no te haran dano, pero al mismo tiempo tampoco te daran felicidad. El secreto esta en saber elegir y dejar que otros se hacerquen a ti. Tambien tienes que estar preparada a rechazarlos si ellos te salen equivocados. En el asunto del amor, es mejor jugar y perder que no jugar por miedo a perder. Piensa tambien que puedes ganar si te ensenas a saber elegir.

    • Carmen Enid February 27, 2012 at 9:52 pm #

      Me encanta las palabras que haz escrito, totalmente de acuerdo.  Hay q. estar acesibles  a q. esas personas se nos acerquen, pero si no sirven pa' fuera.  Aprecio mucho sus palabras, gracias.

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  8. Vincent Sylvan March 9, 2012 at 7:38 pm #

    Thank you Aracy for your aprecation.

  9. Vincent Sylvan March 9, 2012 at 7:40 pm #

    Yes Dagmar,I have a lot to read here, did you read the poems?

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  21. Vincent Sylvan March 13, 2012 at 11:48 pm #

    Thank you Dirce, keep reading my blogs, I will convert you to my philosophy yet.

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